Tutorial #1:
How to Express Yourself in Text

I am excited about your willingness to learn how to get the most out of your online counselling experience! On the other hand, I don't want you to feel any pressure at all about how you write to us. You can just go ahead and write an email to your counsellor in any way you want. But, I am confident that you will find this information helpful. So let's get started...

There are three pages worth of tutorials to consider. It shouldn't take long. Feel free to return to the tutorials as you see the need.

Tips for text-only communication

You can't see me and I can't see you. So how are we going to connect with each other at a deeply personal level?

Grab an extra chair

The first thing I and our other counsellors do is to put a chair beside us. As a matter of fact, the chair that is right beside me at this very moment is for you. In my mind's eye, I seem to be able to "see" you better when I give you a chair. You are more real to me. I see more of you and less of the text on the screen. When you write to your counsellor, you might want to try this by giving him or her a chair beside you.

Talk about your feelings

For me, this means looking inside myself as I am doing with you right now (using the chair), and giving a name to my feelings. I tell you about them as they happen, while I write. For example, right now, I'm feeling focused and hopeful that I'm explaining this in a way that makes sense.

Use brackets

Sometimes I want to tell you how I'm feeling right in the middle of a sentence. So... [wondering how to demonstrate this], I use brackets - just like that. Here is an example of what someone might write to their counsellor:

I have reread your last email several times and although I appreciate your words [can't believe you have such faith in me] I don't think I'm ever going to have a worthwhile relationship [very very sad]. Richard called again to say I'm an idiot [angry with myself]. He's so mean. But, hmm, now that I think about what you said again, I think I'm actually angrier with him than with myself. [weird. I feel pretty good right now].

Use other keyboard tricks

If I want you to know that I'm pausing to think about something more deeply, I might use a few extra dots.....

... and possibly even hit ‘Enter’ a few times to create some blank space.

If I mean something to be a bit funny, I might use a smiley :-) or if something is sad, I might use a sad face :-(

(You need to tilt your head to the left to see the smiley and the sad face.)

If I'm really thrilled I might even SHOUT by using all capital letters.

You can use any of these tips and tricks to the extent that they are helpful.

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Tutorial #2:
Be Responsible for Your Privacy

 

Private Notification

You may find yourself asking: "How can I know when I receive a new message from my counsellor? Do I have to login to my PrivacEmail account every day?"

No, you don't. PrivacEmail can automatically send a message to your regular e-mail address whenever you receive mail in your PrivacEmail account.

"This is an automatic notice indicating that you have received mail at your PrivacEmail address. To check your PrivacEmail, please go to... https://cjbrown.privacemail.com/privacemail/Login.asp" 

The notice can be sent to any non-PrivacEmail.com address.

To set this up, login to PrivacEmail (https://cjbrown.privacemail.com/privacemail/Login.asp), and click the Preferences tab. Then scroll down the Preferences settings until you see the "Email Notification" section and follow the instructions. It is important to protect your confidentiality even in notification messages. So do NOT check the box that says:

"Check this box to display the address of the sender in the notification. (This could reveal the identity of the sender):"

Be sure to click the Save icon to save your Preferences.

I invite you to explore the other Preferences options as well. For example, if you have a slow modem connection, you may want to select the "Use fewer images" checkbox to speed up the PrivacEmail system.

A Private Place or Time

I hope you can either make sure your computer is in a private place, or that you can find private time for reading and writing your emails. Otherwise, someone may be able to look over your shoulder and read your private messages. Security on the Internet is useless if people can look over your shoulder.

Web Browser Privacy

Forgive me if you know these facts already:

Your web browser automatically records Web pages, graphics, and other files you've visited. These records are called the cache and history. Left alone, these records provide a roadmap of your surfing activities to the next person (your boss, your child, your spouse) who uses the computer and knows where to look. Please take these steps to protect your privacy after each visit to our virtual counselling centre:

To delete records of your Web browsing activity:

If you are using any version of Netscape Communicator^®:

1. From your browser menu select: Edit
2. From the Edit drop-down menu select: Preferences
3. Under the "Category" list (on left side of the Preferences window), open the sub-menu for "Advanced" by clicking on the + symbol
4. From the Advanced sub-menu, click on the word: Cache
5. From the Cache window select: Clear Memory Cache & Clear Disk Cache; then select the OK button at the bottom of the Cache window.
6. To clear the History list, select the Navigator branch, and then click the Clear History and Clear Location Bar buttons.

If you are using any version of Microsoft Internet Explorer:

1. From your browser menu select: Tools
2. From the Tools drop-down menu select: Internet Options
3. From the Internet Options window select: General
4. From the General folder, look for the Temporary Internet Files section near the middle of the window, click on the Delete Files button; a new window appears with the question "Delete all files in Temporary Internet Files Folder?", click on OK.
5. You should also delete your "History" folder, which records the names of sites you have recently visited. From the General folder, look for the History section near the bottom of the window, click on the Clear History button; a new window appears with the question "Are you sure you want Windows to delete your history of visited web sites?", click Yes. Then select the OK button at the bottom of the Internet Options window.

As an added security measure in any version of Microsoft Internet Explorer, you may decide to set your browser defaults as follows:

1. From your browser menu select: Tools
2. From the Tools drop-down menu select: Internet Options
3. From the Internet Options window select: Advanced
4. From the Advanced scroll-down window, look for the Security section title. From this section, you may decide you prefer to select the following option:
    

• Delete saved pages when browser closed

Then click on OK at bottom of window.

For users of other browsers, please refer to your browser's documentation on memory/disk caching.

 

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Tutorial #3:
How to Handle Problems That Could Occur

Normal Delays

You can expect to receive a personal reply to your first message within three business days. To pick up your messages, login to PrivacEmail account. ) https://cjbrown.privacemail.com/privacemail/Login.asp).  Please contact us if you don't get a reply within that time-frame.

After your initial contact with your counsellor, he or she will schedule replies to you approximately once per week. You may, of course, send as many emails to your counsellor as you wish any time at all. Your counsellor will normally reply once per week as scheduled. If you mark a message "URGENT" in the subject line, your counsellor will make every effort to reply as soon as possible.

When I send a client an email, I'm eager to hear from my client. I'm sure you'll have similar feelings when you send a email to your counsellor. This waiting period will make your counsellor's reply that much more important to you when you get it.

On the other hand, waiting could be difficult at times. I want to speak right from my heart now: I really encourage you, right now, to pause and think about at least one other person that you can talk to about your counselling issues if you find waiting difficult. This person could be a trusted friend or family member. Make a commitment to yourself to contact that person if you need to.

Unexpected Delays

If you have waited more than three business days to receive your counsellor's first email, or if you have not received your counsellor's reply on schedule, just give us a call @ 1-800-461-2292.

Don't Lose Your Work!

Every computer crashes once in a while. If it happens while you are in the process of writing a message using PrivacEmail, this can be extremely frustrating. There are two ways you can reduce the chances of losing your work:

1. The PrivacEmail system allows you to save your work-in-progress.

You can do this frequently by pressing the "Save draft" button. As you do this, your message disappears and gets moved to the "drafts" folder. So, in order to continue writing, you need to click the "Drafts" folder, click your draft message, and click Edit.

This is the most secure method.

2. You can use Notepad (a simple word processor supplied with Windows) alongside PrivacEmail. For maximum security, we recommend Notepad rather than a word processor because Notepad does not autosave, so there is no record on your hard-drive.

1. In PrivacEmail, select your counsellor's message and click ‘Reply’.
2. Click your mouse anywhere in the text of the message and use ‘Ctrl+A’ to select the whole message.
3. Then use’ Ctrl+C’ to copy the selection.
4. Open Notepad (click Start, Accessories, Notepad from Windows)
5. Use ‘Ctrl+V’ to insert into Notepad
6. Click Edit, Word Wrap (on).
7. Insert a floppy disk and frequently save your work in progress.
8. When you're done, select and copy your work from Notepad.
9. Go back to PrivacEmail to the ‘Compose’ window (that popped up when you used ‘Reply’), and use’ Ctrl+A’ to select the whole message.
10. Now use ‘Ctrl+V’ to paste your work into PrivacEmail.

Make sure you format your floppy drive. (Use the help system that comes with Microsoft Windows if you need to learn how to format a drive.)

If you have any other technical problems related to PrivacEmail, please return to the resources menu and look for the document that addresses your question.

Misunderstandings

It is possible that you may feel that your counsellor does not fully understand what you have tried to convey in your email.

Feel free to call your counsellor at the number he or she gives you to clarify.

Strong Emotional Reactions

Sometimes people who are in E-Therapy feel things more deeply than they expect. Your emotions might surprise you, or (rarely) become overwhelming while you are writing or reading your email.

I urge you to develop a plan to handle this in case it happens. I have a few suggestions that you may find helpful. Most of all, we invite you to be aware that you are in control. Let me explain what I mean:

1. Choose a good time to read your counsellor's messages, not necessarily as soon as you get them.
    
• Before you begin reading, check your own emotional state. Are you ready to experience yourself, your emotions, and your issues in an intensive way?
• Next, check your circumstances. Do you have privacy? Do you have enough time to read and think about what your counsellor says? Do you plan to respond immediately, or read your counsellor's message a few times before responding?

2. Continue to pay attention to how you are feeling, and read or write as much as you want or can handle.
    
• As soon as you see that you have received a message in your PrivacEmail account from your counsellor, it is a good idea to press "Reply" before you begin reading. This way, you can write to your counsellor about your feelings and reactions as they are happening to you.
• Go at the pace that you can handle. Take a break if you want to. You can stop reading if it becomes difficult, so that you can take care of whatever you are experiencing.
• Don't assume that you have to read or reply to the entire email message your counsellor has given you. You can do it in several sittings.
• Talk to someone about any strong emotions you experience or just give yourself time to prepare yourself before going back to it.

3. Recognize that you need to make your own decisions about what is and is not useful. Don't assume that your counsellor is necessarily right. Your counsellor will form opinions based on what they've been told. It's helpful if you tell your counsellor if you don't accept something he or she has said.
    
4. Plan in advance what you will do if you need emotional support when you read or write an email.
    
• I suggest that you look up the telephone number for the Crisis Line closest to you, and decide ahead of time that you will call them for emotional support if you need it. Crisis Lines are normally listed on the inside of the front cover of your telephone book.

Please let your counsellor know if you have strong emotional reactions. Please describe fully what happened.

If you find that E-Therapy seems to be inappropriate for you, please tell your counsellor how you feel. Your counsellor can then help you decide whether face-to-face counselling may be more appropriate.

Crisis

Emergencies, such as someone considering suicide or homicide, need immediate attention. I want to make sure you realize that, if any kind of emergency is happening where you are located, we cannot help you online. It just doesn't make sense to send your counsellor a PrivacEmail message, hoping that we will be able to help you at that moment. This agency's counsellors are expected to check for incoming PrivacEmail messages only once per day (Monday through Friday, excluding local statutory holidays). Your counsellor can definitely help you with what happens after an emergency. But we cannot help you online while the emergency is happening.

Because of this, we have prepared a web page especially to help people know how to get help in a crisis. Please click here and take the time to view this page.

Congratulations! You have completed the tutorials!